


My Brother, My Kippah, and Me

by emrys (livingshitpost)



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: 99 (Star Wars) Goes by Nathaniel, 99 has been 76 yr old man since he was eight, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Big Brothers, Brother Feels, Brotherhood, Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Brothers, Coming Out, Embroidery, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Identity, Gender Issues, Jewish Character, Judaism, Modern Era, Name Changes, Names, Nicknames, No Incest, Not Beta Read, POV First Person, Protective Older Brothers, Trans CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555, Trans Fives, Trans Male Character, Two Shot, mild vandalism, so . it stays, the title was jst gonna be a joke placeholder BUT i liked it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:55:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23019667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livingshitpost/pseuds/emrys
Summary: Fives comes out, less than a week before his and Echo's b'nei (now b'nai) mitzvah. It throws everyone for a loop.
Relationships: CT-21-0408 | Echo & CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555, CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555 & 99 (Star Wars)
Kudos: 30





	My Brother, My Kippah, and Me

Echo kicked me as he read over the transliterations for our Torah portion for the eight-millionth time. "C'mon, Fives. We gotta make sure we've got this perfect."

I rolled my eyes at him and went back to the game I was playing. "Relax, Echo. We know this. We'll be fine."

"Do you, though? You've been getting weirder and weirder about it for two months." He set aside his binder. "Are you alright, Hannah?"

I frowned. "It's Fives," I reminded him. It had been Fives for nearly four years, now. I hadn't worn skirts in three years. I'd had short hair for two.

Even still, the dark blue dress hanging in my closet for Saturday seemed to taunt me all the way in the living room.

Echo gave me a look. "C'mon. We've always told each other everything. What's wrong?"

"I don't-!" I groaned. "You wouldn't get it."

"Try me!"

I glared at him. "I don't want to be a bat mitzvah, alright? Fuck's sake."

He blinked at me. "But you said-"

"I know! I just-!" I grabbed a pillow and buried my face in it. "It's stupid!"

"No, it's not!" Echo pulled the pillow away.

"It is too!" I curled in on myself and turned away from him, facing the back of the couch.

Someone paused on the way to the kitchen. "What's going on in here?" Nathaniel asked.

Echo leaned back into his spot at the other end of the couch. "Fives is being weird about Saturday." He lowered his voice. "She says she doesn't wanna be a bat mitzvah."

The couch shifted. Nathaniel leaned over me. "That so?"

I grumbled, curling into a tighter ball in hopes that I might disappear. "It's not that I don't . . ." I sighed. "I don't know how to say it."

Nathaniel folded his arms. "Y'know, Raphael said the same thing."

I paused. Raphael? Raphael as in Wrecker, our _cousin_ , who was as much of an airheaded jock as any other high school boy? Who, last time I saw him, picked me up under one arm, and then did the same to Echo with the other?

I looked up at Nathaniel. "What are you talking about?"

Nathaniel folded his arms. "Well, he didn't want to be a bat mitzvah either. Granted, he gave his mum a bit more warning. She had time to get the word out to her friends, redo the invitations . . ."

I sat up. "He was gonna be a bat mitzvah?"

"Yeah." Nathaniel laughed. "He used to go by _Debbie_ , can you believe that?" He stood to retrieve one of the photo albums he and Cody had packed when we moved here. He flipped through it and pointed to a picture of himself with two other boys, along with two girls. One of them rested her elbow on his shoulder. "There he is. And that's Chris, Tom," — he pointed to the other girl — "and Hunter. 'Course, he still went by Grace when this was taken. But that's not the point. . . . Or, maybe it is, I dunno." He flipped forward a few pages. "And here's Raphael at his _bar_ mitzvah."

Wrecker smiled at me, his nose scrunched with mock irritation, wearing a suit that was clearly too big. His dark hair was obviously badly cut, but slicked back as best as his mother could manage. He had green icing on his lips and licked crumbs from his fingers.

"Hunter should be in here somewhere, too." Nathaniel skipped over Christopher and Thomas' b'nai mitzvah, before landing on Hunter, who I recognized more easily. I vaguely remembered being there. His suit fit a bit better, and his hair was better cut. He stood reading at the bimah, sat laughing with his brothers . . .

"Can . . . Can _I_ be a bar mitzvah?" I asked quietly.

Nathaniel ruffled my hair. "Sure you can. If that's what you want." He handed me the album as he stood. "I'll have to let Rabbi Koon know, of course, but I'll handle that." He ducked his head into the kitchen. "Hey, Cody. You still have your bar mitzvah suit?"

Cody glanced up from his homework. "Yeah, why?"

"Fives needs it. And let Shak know I'm gonna need a ride to temple."

"When?"

"Uh, the sooner the better?"

"Wait, don't tell me we've got another-"

"Yeah, we've got another one."

Cody groaned. "Alright, alright. I'll call Wreck and get him to hand over the name books."

Nathaniel glanced over his shoulder at me and winked. "We'll get you sorted, kid."

I hadn't even noticed how widely I'd been grinning.

Echo took me by the hand and brought me down to the basement. He pulled out the box of commemorative kippot, each of which had been inscribed with our names and Saturday's date, then tossed me a sharpie.

"Alright," he said, sitting down on the floor. He dumped them out in front of himself. "C'mon. We've got some corrections to make."

We spent the next hour crossing out my birthname and, lacking a proper name at the time, writing "Fives" above it.

* * *

Cody's suit had needed some last-minute modifications in order to fit me. The pant legs were hemmed, the sleeves were rolled, and I had two safety pins in the back of my pants to keep them from slipping down my hips. Luckily, Echo knew my pain. We both cursed our older brothers for having been so much bigger at thirteen than we were.

"Fives," Nathaniel said from the kitchen. "C'mere a minute."

I grumbled under my breath. My borrowed shoes were too big, and walking was unreasonably difficult in them. "What is it?" I asked, putting my hands on my hips.

Nathaniel was grinning. "I was gonna wait, but, uh." He chuckled. "I figured it might be better for you to have this before we left."

I cocked an eyebrow as he pulled something out from behind his back. It was a white satin kippah, embroidered with blue and hints of silver, with a black magen david on top. I ran my fingers over the name on it. _Feivel_.

"I got started on it as soon as you told me your new name," he said, somewhat sheepishly. "I know it doesn't look great; it's just a first draft. Just practice, really. I can make you another one if-"

I threw my arms around Nathaniel's middle. "It's amazing," I said. My voice threatened to break. "Thank you, Nate."

He squeezed me back. "Of course, Fives." 


End file.
